The apple fell, contrary to what they say, far from the tree. Somehow, I found my own way, despite the fact you were cancer before you had the cancer in your lungs – you were cancer as a dad. How can I grieve for someone who caused so much grief? Drunk and stubborn – a tyrant who gave no reprieve. Violent and loud – we did not feel safe in our home. The cancer in your drink made a young boy feel so alone.
With drink in can in hand, you transformed. At first, proud words, I heard, then wild storms.
Oh, Cancer, please! I am on my knees – a faithless man who misses his dad. Bring him back, bring him back. I miss him so bad.
A proud and loving father when sober, but three beers in an hour – most nights, drunk. The father that I needed, taken over by the cancer he drank endlessly… down. A proud and loving father when sober, and, three years in succession, happiness, but the father that I had was taken over by the cancer he had in his lungs. Down.
I saw the light fade away. What a sight – the decay. From night to day.
Fa(r)ther, he went in a noise of blue and red, then the next day, “Burial’s more costly,” she said. Day after that, turned up to start my HSC. A name was all I could write, but at least they know it was me.
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